This is Maggie. She is one of the world's cutest babies. She belongs to my friend Mollie. Was reading the latest issue of Time Magazine today on the Tube, "Europe's New Frontiers" and there is this very long and extensive article about the redefinition of the European family.
In a nutshell? The nuclear family is a dying breed.
It went on and on about Europe's aging population. How most countries aren't reproducing enough children to maintain population levels (couples need 2.1 kids and most countries average 1.3 - 1.7 kids per couple) and governments are having to do things like have liberal immigration policies to keep population numbers up. In the UK they even took away tax breaks for married couples without kids and only give them to couples with kids to encourage people to pop into the bedroom and pop out some lil' uns.
It also talked extensively about the issue of women waiting later in life to have babies. This is where I suddenly realized I was a grown up. I'll share the exact sentence with you:
"The average age of women giving birth in the EU hovers at just below 30, up from 27.4 in 1991."
I saw my age and was gobsmacked. Kids? Really? At my age?
But I'm just a kid myself!!!
Seriously. Somedays I feel like a fraud. Like at any minute someone is going to take away my business cards and tell me to go back to the finger paints.
And somedays I think that would be really nice.
In a nutshell? The nuclear family is a dying breed.
It went on and on about Europe's aging population. How most countries aren't reproducing enough children to maintain population levels (couples need 2.1 kids and most countries average 1.3 - 1.7 kids per couple) and governments are having to do things like have liberal immigration policies to keep population numbers up. In the UK they even took away tax breaks for married couples without kids and only give them to couples with kids to encourage people to pop into the bedroom and pop out some lil' uns.
It also talked extensively about the issue of women waiting later in life to have babies. This is where I suddenly realized I was a grown up. I'll share the exact sentence with you:
"The average age of women giving birth in the EU hovers at just below 30, up from 27.4 in 1991."
I saw my age and was gobsmacked. Kids? Really? At my age?
But I'm just a kid myself!!!
Seriously. Somedays I feel like a fraud. Like at any minute someone is going to take away my business cards and tell me to go back to the finger paints.
And somedays I think that would be really nice.
It's funny to sit and think about how you fall statistically and realize you still don't think of yourself as a grown up. Turns out I am not alone. In Europe, "many modern families are planned around that quintessential of baby-boomer obsessions, the desire for self-fulfillment."In other words, we're all selfish bastards who view kids as slowing us down, making us give up nice holidays and white furniture, being a burden on our disposable income, and making us come home at a decent hour.
According to Time, we are a massive change from past generations where women were brought up to believe that only by having a baby (or 3) would their lives be complete. (There is data in the mag to back this up).
Now to be clear, I do want kids someday - at least 2, maybe 3. I have visions of being old and having a house full of grandkids. (I think my mom has the same vision for herself but my bro and I have yet to help her out there. Sorry mom.) But I always think of this as something that would be nice to have - not the only way to make my life complete.
And how that is actually going to happen? Well, I'll figure that out when I get around to it.
I've got a lot of things to do first.
4 comments:
I just don't have the fathering instinct. I want my white sofa and my Mini Cooper and my disposable income (al things I couldn't have if I was a dad).
Besides, isn't the only point of having married (w kids) friends so that you can get your fill of theirs and leave when you're done?
Yes, I would like that someday-the grandkids. I'm waiting. Patiently. And will continue to do so. On the other hand, who will show me the world if you get tied down with kids?
Your Own Personal Mom
i have to go track down this Time article now, I'm intrigued. First I must admit, that my biological clock is ticking. (There goes any chance of meeting someone via blog buddies ;-) I offer my babysitting services to friends regularly to help quiet them and get my fill of diaper changing. I can't believe all the huge hoopla about population growth though. This planet is so overpopulated already -- seems great that this is slowly down or at least leveling off. Why the freak out? I need to blog, it's been too long.
I love kids. As long as they aren't mine. My hockey-destroyed back makes it hard enough to wipe my own ass, much less that of a little bundle of joy.
Plus, I'm with Cherry. I like my disposable income and travel itinerary too much. After all, if I had munchkins in tow I wouldn't be able to get an Aston Martin or hang out in exotic locales playing James Bond.
I didn't read the article, but I think the biggest contributors to the decline in birthrate are that many Western women these days have an equivalent career orientation to men, many women (and men) come from divorced families and adopt a generally cynical view on marriage and family, and most Western women my age and younger feel empowered to think positively of sex as more than a procreation activity. For this last part, all I can say is Thank God.
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