31 March 2008
Cherryride is gonna be so sad that he left the country. Poor timing on that one chap!
Please feel free to share with the group. Your call is very important to us.
Dear Seattle Public,
How are you? It's been a while since we chatted. I hope things are going well. I know you made it safely to work today. In fact, that's what I'd like to have a little chat about. Today, on my way to work, I encountered no less than SIX DRIVERS in a span of 30 minutes (that's one every 5 minutes or so) who didn't know what they were doing on the roadway. This is a serious issue. We need to have a little chat. Would the following drivers please report to Driver Ed? You can stop by my house for an arse whooping first:
- Parked in the Traffic Lane Guy - DO YOU NOT SEE THE SIGN that says NO PARKING in that lane from 6 am - 9 am? Clearly not. Thanks for screwing up everyone's mojo.
- Not Going to Let You Into My Lane Guy - you suck. It's a residential street and some idiot parked in one of the 2 driving lanes. You see him parked there. You see me trying to get over. Don't be a dick, Dick. Yes, I am going to force my way over. Go ahead and honk. You suck. Oh, and your girlfriend is UHGLEEEE.
- Delivery Van Who Doesn't Know How to Merge - These two lanes become one lane. That means you proceed and take turns with the cars in the other lane to merge into one lane. That does not mean you come to a complete stop (where do you see a Stop sign? Please explain.) and let ALL OF THE OTHER TRAFFIC GO first. That means you go. They go. YOU GO. They go. YOU GO. SO GO!!!!
- Changing Lanes Recklessly and Fast With No Blinker in Jammed Freeway Traffic Guy - you are going to cause an accident. Seriously. I hope your car gets totalled.
- Don't Know How to Exit Girl - When you see two cars, travelling at about 65 mph, and they are in your lane traveling at a relatively close distance, and you see that there is a completely OPEN lane behind them, it is WRONG to place your car directly in between them in the lane next to them and sit with your blinker on. Ease off the gas honey. Slide in behind. You can do it. Stupid cow.
- Don't Know How to Change Lanes Guy - Alternatively, when I am travelling a decent distance behind the guy in front of me, and I am letting you over, GET THE HELL OVER. Don't sit there with your blinker on and try to decide for a good 5 minutes. I realize you've probably been driving next to Not Going to Let You Into My Lane Guy and had a bad experience but hey, we're not all like that. A little awareness is all I am asking for.
And finally, to Everyone Out There Driving a Car Anywhere in the World, HANG UP YOUR DAMN MOBILE PHONE. You're driving like an idiot and pissing us all the hell off.
Yes, that includes you.
Thank you for your time and attention in this important matter. With a little extra attention, a bit of space in between us and you getting the hell out of my way, I think we can all just get along. I have a good feeling about this.
28 March 2008
I mean seriously, I couldn't let a whole work week go by without blogging at least ONCE! Man, am I a serious lame ass lately. Grounding was the only way to go.
Speaking of Once, have you seen it? I have not (yet) but have been told by several people that it is apparently the most amazing thing since sliced bread and my life is not complete until I've seen it. It's going to blow my mind. I'm looking forward to it - although I fear that expectations are too high...
21 March 2008
19 March 2008
In honor of his birth, I'd like to share some of the funnier gems I got in emails from Jenn during her pregnancy. All you need to know is that Jenn is a high school English teacher by trade and we should fear for the future of America:
- I'm wearing a sweater that ties above my belly and heard the statement, "Dang, Mrs. D, your belly is getting BIG" more than once today. Thanks, kids, I hadn't noticed. And they talk about it because they think that's the socially appropriate way to be excited. Sigh, 9th graders. And yeah, if they made these comments and I wasn't pregnant, then I'd seriously be issuing detentions like a madwoman.
- I just said, "That's not an acceptable choice. You're not in kindergarten; you're a big boy," to an 18-year-old.
- Today in one of my 9th grade classes I was talking about Langston Hughes and how he wrote during the Harlem Renaiisance. I said, "so when I say Harlem, where do you think of?" And like 8 boys all at once said "Globetrotters!" while one kid, who is actually usually kind of slow, said, "New York." So great, my other supposedly bright kids think Globetrotters is a PLACE and the kid who usually doesn't know what's going on knows that Harlem is in New York. Be afraid.
Just think, someday little Grady will be giving his teacher's precious little gems like these to share with their friends...Congratulations Jenn & Aaron!
17 March 2008
I have no one to blame but myself.
So to recap for all of you this year: in true Irish style, we drank Guinness in an Irish pub while a local Singapore band played the English hits of the 80s and 90s; feasted on local street food in a hakka market; and then stumbled our way home in the humid 90 degree weather that is always present in Singapore, even at midnight.
You've never done a proper St. Patrick's Day until you've done it on the other side of the world. I challenge you to find a country in the world where there isn't an Irish pub. I think there may be more Irish pubs in Barcelona than there are tapas restaurants. If not, it's a close race. I mean, come on, EVERYONE loves Guinness.
Happy St Pat's Day Everyone!!
14 March 2008
*the photo is not the actual filet mignon I ate last night but that's pretty much what it looked like. Yum.
11 March 2008
06 March 2008
04 March 2008
But I was doing ok with it...until the weekend when:
- The work that I was hoping would be finished during the week, made me work on the weekend. Like at 7 am on Saturday...but hey, I was already kind of awake anyway.
- The sump pump at my house broke, meaning I can't use the toilet or shower. So even though I am home, I am not able to be at home and am staying at various friend's houses until it gets fixed today. My landlord offered a hotel but the very idea of being in another hotel makes me shudder.
- A jar shattered when I opened it and sliced my thumb open pretty deep. Didn't get stitches, but they were seriously considered while it was bleeding all over.
- My computer, which is my life at work, decided to fritz...a lot...when I needed it not to be on the fritz. I love Vista!
- Completely sober, I spilled a full glass of red wine all over Suz's new expensive boots and coat right before she got on a red eye flight back to NYC. But hey, at least I didn't kill anybody! Right?