31 July 2007

Facebook is having an effect on me

It's funny. Ever since I started playing on Facebook I've noticed that I keep thinking of myself in terms of that status update thingy in the corner. I'll be walking down the street and think, "Reckenroll is hungry and would like a cookie" or "ReckenRoll is annoyed there is a 7 minute wait for her tube" or even "ReckenRoll is thinking you must be joking."

Today's status update: "ReckenRoll is sad"

So I know I am supposed to be blogging about the things I love and loathe in London but for today thinking about London that much is just too much. As of tomorrow, I will only have about a week left full time living in London. I thought I was ready. I really thought I was...but I find if I really think about leaving and not ever coming back I get this panicky feeling that I don't really know what to do with. I can't possibly start wrapping my brain around what I love and loathe right now.

ReckenRoll is employing denial.

I've been planning leaving dos and planning for my arrival in Seattle and packing up my flat full time for what feels like forever. Thinking about London is all I do lately and putting words to the page on that topic just now is just too overwhelming. As all my stuff comes off the walls and books get sorted and my dvd collection dwindles from selling off the UK format dvds, it feels less and less like I live here and more and more like a place I am going to leave and that sucks.

ReckenRoll is sighing.

The movers come tomorrow at 9.30 am and tonight I am going home to force myself to keep sorting so that when they show up they can do their job. I am not the type to hand over control to someone else but right now it sounds like a great idea. As I told brother Reckenroll yesterday, I keep having moments of thinking, "I just want my mom to come do it all for me." How lame is that?

ReckenRoll is wallowing in it kids.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel for ya. Leaving London for Seattle is kind of like leaving the Trump Mansion for a Honey Bucket.

I also relate to the Facebook addiction. Wait until you get Stateside and can use Facebook Mobile...

Unknown said...

Wow - Prashant really does have a way with words. I've never been to the Trump Mansion but I've seen plenty of honey buckets in my time (including the one that the Seattle City Council has forgotten to pick up from outside my buidling after the Seafair parade on Saturday night) - so yes, nice metaphor.

I'm not going to say "well said" because I'm selfishly focused on doing whatever I can to lure Katie back to Seattle. And since today the sun is shinining and the lakes and the mountains do look kind of pretty and if I was in London I wouldn't have a convertible car I could put the top down on to drive around in on days like this, AND since school holidays + nice weather means less traffic on 520 - I'll admit that Seattle scores points on days like this.

But the MOMENT the weather changes back - well.....

ReckenRoll said...

Thanks Prashant for your, um, inspiring words.

Thanks Kate...it does help to think about the sunny weather and all the stuff in Seattle (including YOU) that I don't get to have here.

carolyn says said...

no matter how ready you are to move overseas (either way) i don't think you're ever really ready. it's an upheaval and it's scary even when it's good.

i still remember our last days iin Chicago with actual sorrow. even though our life here is good, it was also good there and we left a lot behind. sometimes i think the only thing that got us out of our apartment was the fact that jeremy's company paid for the movers to pack our shit for us so we couldn't even procrastinate about that. it all got wrapped in brown paper and then they took away our bed and we had to go.

this is not sounding very encouraging, sorry. what i'm trying to say is, i know how you feel and i empathize with you and i wish you all the best in seattle. it'll be awesome no matter how melancholy this part of the process is.

Anonymous said...

Major changes are very hard. They're challenging, always uncomfortable, and especially difficult when you're leaving a place as exciting as London. I felt the same sorrow when I packed up 2 little kids and moved back to Alaska. Actually, I felt worse.

Please remember how you felt when you first moved to London. Then life improved. Boy, did it improve! The only constant in life, Kate, IS change. I'm flattered your gut emotion is wanting
Mom to take charge (especially since I'm your Mom). However, tshe parent/child handbook says I can't do that. It requires me to say, "Chin up, you're doing a great job, and remember, the only person who really likes change is a wet baby."

Your Own Personal Mom

ReckenRoll said...

Thanks Mom and Carolyn! I know it's just a melancholy time - it was bound to happen and it did, right? Thanks for the encouragement - perspective, and saying nice things, always helps!

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Remember what an incredible experience you had and think of the excitement you have ahead of you. Remember, Seattle is just a place and the good stuff that happens to you can and will happen anywhere. Plus, better to leave London on a high note.